Amitabh Bachchan! For the super star of the millennium, nothing is unachievable. No award or accolade is too big for him. Not a single Bollywood actor would say no to work with him. With so much fame and glory in his life, he still seems to be hungry for more! His Hindi film score is just a few flicks away from 200 mark. Now the news is that this gentleman from the world of flamboyance is keen to flaunt his brio and bravura to mesmerize small screen spectators. Though he has already done the magic in Kaun Banega Crorepati, this time it's a different game. Yes, you got it right – Amitji is doing a TV serial.

This news has attracted both raves and rants from Indian audience; some are delighted to hear this news as watching Big B on a fiction show would be an all new experience for their eyes. While others are not ready to accept him in this genre as he has already made the grade in reality show – KBC. There is no second thought that TV has grown up as a big medium and its financial perspectives are far bigger than that of Bollywood, but the very imagination of senior Bachchan playing a character in fictitious TV soap is horrible.

Until now, promoters of the serial have followed suit and it has been trumpeted that concept, treatment and production of this serial is hatke. Produced under the creative direction of Anurag Kashyap, it is believed that Big B has partnership in this serial. Now here is something interesting – Bachchan is again donning the hat of businessman. A shrewd man wants to prove his business acumen. Once he made a big mistake by doing business and now the question is: is he going to repeat the mistake? We can only wish him all the success in his new venture.

Yesterday, I took my mom to her cardiologist, who was to examine her medical reports on her urological problems. Oops…why a cardiologist when she has urological troubles? Well, that was the instructions from her urologist! This wasn't her routine visit as, of late, she has developed some urological problems, which led her to believe that she is going to be bed-ridden for the rest of her life. She is 71. But what makes her so disheartened? Not that we can’t afford her ill health; nor are we reluctant to take care of her when she is hospitalized or at home. This makes me think deeply over this issue, which, I think, pesters almost every person in India – if you are sick or have poor health, you are looked down as someone who is untouchable; you are living on the mercy of your near and dear ones, and therefore, falling sick is a crime in this country.

In the same hospital yesterday, I witnessed a strange incident. An old man, must be in his late sixties, sitting next to me on a bench, looked very dejected as I could see wrinkles of some sort of torture on his face. He was talking to a middle-aged lady on reception; I was keenly listening to the conversation. Then the man shifted to me; I could gauge that he was going through mixed emotions of love and hate for his son, who stomped out of the hospital immediately after he was diagnosed as heart patient. Within an hour, doctor took two cardiograms and both showed some damage to his heart. He was not ready to accept that he could ever develop any heart ailment; he was 37.

Now, look at some major differences between the two patients. One is a confirmed old person and another one is socially accepted as young & mature person, though not perfectly young. My mom attended a primary school in a small village and that gentleman must have a bachelor’s degree from a university in Gujarat. He has a 10-year old son, who is a fifth grader in an English medium school. The only striking similarity is that both belong to the middle class families. But both react to their medical conditions as if they were sinners: that young man arrogantly behaved at hospital and my mother quite meekly accepted that she is doing something wrong by getting sick.

I squeezed my nerves a little more and started pondering over this issue in reverse. Our society is equally responsible to make patients believe that they are criminals by falling ill. For example, in our neighbourhood, if an old person is going for a walk or being accompanied to attend any social function, the first question from neighbours is: going to hospital? What the hell! If an aged person is going out, does it always mean s/he is ill and taken to the doctor? Wait; this is not the final chapter of the story. If your destiny doesn't favour you, and if you are actually sick, you will be bent by the burden of advice & tips. All of a sudden, your neighbour will don a hat of consultant and start pouring dos and don’ts to get well soon. I think this must be the reason why we shrink back from disclosing our illness  !

Jokes apart, we need to treat our patients as human beings and not just as liabilities; after all, when they were in fine fettle, they contributed a lot towards their families & society. So it is time to pay back.

Sounds bizarre but it is a fact as the headline goes in TOI Ahmedabad: ATMs in Police Stations soon. Banks in Gujarat are planning to install ATMs in the police stations. Now our green bucks are in safe hands as the state home department and Reserve Bank of India have come up with a solution to stop burglary of ATMs. Thanks to our state police’s generosity that in near future we will be visiting police stations frequently – not for any other reason but to withdraw money!

For some, this news tickles their funny bones in that this new facility would allow us to withdraw money from ATMs planted in police stations – a place that has lost its sanctity because police and bribery are inextricably linked together. (By the way, you don’t need to grease palms of those officials to withdraw your own money, because your bank has already promised the home department to furnish those stations with CCTV cameras, water coolers, furniture and other facilities).

But every cloud has a silver lining. Why can’t we see positives and some other useful services in future? Earlier our police had to burn rubber (and fat) to hunt and catch hold of those criminals. With this new solution, we would help the khaki by placing the apple of discord (ATMs) in police stations so that they don’t have to chase culprits (save fuel, save fat, right?). It is a good start with ATMs; maybe after a year, banks would float a new scheme: leave your precious jewellery in police stations and pay them rent as long as your jewellery is under the vigilant eyes of cops. You might wonder – can we deposit anything that is likely to be snatched from us? Yes, everything.

This move has encouraged a rich couple, who are now flirting with the idea of putting their 5-year old kid into police station as they are living under constant fear from an underworld gang sending threats of kidnapping their ward. Wow! What an idea sirjee! Now you can put your kids in police station and live tension-free. No kidnaps, no ransom-demanding calls. Just live peacefully, do your business/job happily. Salute to our heroes in uniform! So if you are planning a long holiday this summer, take your kids to the police station in your area, pay them the fees (don’t forget to take receipt) and have fun. Our new wardens with high-tech weapons will protect your kids. Who will dare to capture your kids from the police station?

If you have other ideas about how our police can help us, share here.

Jai Hind…

It seems that the modern Indian beauties have long bade farewell to Victorian values and puritan morals, and have really come out of their conservative shell. Agreed that Indian men still pine for a perfect Bhartiya Naari as spouse, who is submissive and sacrifice all her comforts and priorities for the sake of familial prosperity and peace, but now our men have to face tough time finding one such bride. But why am I writing like this? Well, everything has a reason. So my small story has also a reason.

It was a normal post-lunch chit-chat in our office and suddenly my colleague proposed an idea of watching a movie at Drive-in cinema; well, the idea didn’t lure me much as I knew that I had to drive all to the cinema in my car. So I was little interested in this; but others showed some readiness. Immediately after that came rates of tickets and consequently the class-conflict rose. My colleague, who was the ideator, declared that benches cost less and car-park would be more expensive, though more comfortable and enjoyable. However, he also added that benches are mostly occupied by “vulgar public”, who raise dust while occupying their seats. On this, our Fair & Lovely queen blurted, “Vulgar public is ok, but my skin gets dusty, which I cannot tolerate”. Lo and behold…this comes from the mouth of a Lady, who is happily married into a rich & cultured family. Not that she is a two-timer and indulging in sex-spree with other guys, but her extra-love for skin and disregard for self-esteem was noticed by all present there. Everyone raised their eye-brows on her statement that clearly reveals that she didn’t mind those lustful eyes of rogues and loafers at cinema.

On second thought, I pondered that the population of moral majority is decreasing day by day and hence, such stories are bound to crop up. Yesterday, when I was getting my beard shaved, the barber showed his barbarism and unwittingly cut my right nostril while trimming my moustache. My nose was bleeding and the barber expected some flak from me; to his surprise, I was silent and asked him to apply alum to stop the blood flow. Again the stream of consciousness began and I thought that perhaps I was a tomfool, who failed to take that barber to task or was too generous to forgive & forget. What would be the reaction of that Fair & Lovely queen had her face got damaged?

I don’t know whether such attitude (the one narrated in second paragraph) is ok in today’s India, where moral values have began to fade away. But at the same time, India should not bind herself in the hyper-moralist chain through which women are subjected to atrocities by men.

This is something you normally don’t expect from national media like Times of India. See how this news item is positioned next to an advertisement the slogan of which reads – Amazing Today. And the news story in the next column is about 89 deaths in Kolkata hospital. Agreed that the newspaper must have blocked the ad space for its advertiser but then they could have changed the position of this news item to give some respect to those departed souls. Doesn’t it sound repulsive to read two opposite statements?